God Has Not Given Us a Spirit of Fear
"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
For as long as I can remember, I have always been afraid.
At twelve, I would shut the lights out, bolt to my bed as fast as I possibly could
and hide under the covers, head and all - if I covered all of myself, I was protected by
my imaginary forcefield... but not really.
But at twelve, thankfully, I didn't have any imminent danger lurking in my closet.
When I first moved to this house I remember not going into my basement for a FEW YEARS!
(unless I absolutely had to)
because I was so scared spiders would fall in my hair.
I can laugh at this now, but I assure you, at the time, it was NOT funny!
I remember sitting in my living room on the couch and imagining someone right outside
looking in my window. I imagined someone busting through the window to "get me" - so I wouldn't sit
by a window at night!
I once had fear defined to me as "F-alse E-vidence A-ppearing R-eal"
Makes sense.
Once I was sitting at the dining room table (single mother) close to destitute financially and I
was worrying about how the bills would get paid. I was worrying if I would die and old spinstress.
I was just agonizingly worrying.
Christian, who was maybe close to two at the time, marched right up the table with his bright
and radiant eyes and said, "I will trust and not be afraid."
I know I choked and sputtered and was like, "WHAT?"
So he repeated himself.
"I will trust and not be afraid. You say it mommy. Say it again!"
and again!
and again!
And I know we burst out into joyous laughter.
Here God was showing me I could be like this little child
and I could just trust God cause He is who He says He is.
So, over the years when false evidence (sent directly from the enemy of my soul
to torment and vex me) appeared real,
God would bring that memory back to me
and allow me to say (to hHim)
I will TRUST and not be afraid!
For as long as I can remember, I have always been afraid.
At twelve, I would shut the lights out, bolt to my bed as fast as I possibly could
and hide under the covers, head and all - if I covered all of myself, I was protected by
my imaginary forcefield... but not really.
But at twelve, thankfully, I didn't have any imminent danger lurking in my closet.
When I first moved to this house I remember not going into my basement for a FEW YEARS!
(unless I absolutely had to)
because I was so scared spiders would fall in my hair.
I can laugh at this now, but I assure you, at the time, it was NOT funny!
I remember sitting in my living room on the couch and imagining someone right outside
looking in my window. I imagined someone busting through the window to "get me" - so I wouldn't sit
by a window at night!
I once had fear defined to me as "F-alse E-vidence A-ppearing R-eal"
Makes sense.
Once I was sitting at the dining room table (single mother) close to destitute financially and I
was worrying about how the bills would get paid. I was worrying if I would die and old spinstress.
I was just agonizingly worrying.
Christian, who was maybe close to two at the time, marched right up the table with his bright
and radiant eyes and said, "I will trust and not be afraid."
I know I choked and sputtered and was like, "WHAT?"
So he repeated himself.
"I will trust and not be afraid. You say it mommy. Say it again!"
and again!
and again!
And I know we burst out into joyous laughter.
Here God was showing me I could be like this little child
and I could just trust God cause He is who He says He is.
So, over the years when false evidence (sent directly from the enemy of my soul
to torment and vex me) appeared real,
God would bring that memory back to me
and allow me to say (to hHim)
I will TRUST and not be afraid!
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